It's time for you to get your PhD in Bravo.
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Raise your hand if you're at personal risk of Summer House becoming your entire personality (along with the phrase "me espresso," but I digress). This is a safe space, and by that I mean a place where your obsession with Summer House can become even more unhinged than it already is. Like, say a little prayer for the next person who innocently talks about this show in the same room as you, because they are not ready!
While I have no doubts that you're obviously more than up-to-date on Summer House interpersonal drama (me personally? I'll never recover from Carl and Lindsay's breakup), Bravo has rudely yet to make a Summer House: The Making Of documentary—which means fans are woefully lacking in behind-the-scenes tidbits about this show. So, naturally, we went ahead and trolled through interviews, podcasts, and producer intel to bring you 30 Summer House rules and need-to-know BTS secrets. Cheers!
*clinks together two glasses of Whispering Angel*
1
The Laundry Machine Is Always Going
Basically, the vibe is GTL, but just...L.
In fact, according to an anonymous Bravo producer, Luke Gulbranson used to straight-up "arrive at the house on Friday with laundry from the city" so that he could just...do it all at the house. Listen, as someone who goes home for Thanksgiving with approximately three months' worth of dirty clothes, I relate to this deeply.
2
The Bathroom Is the *Only* Place for Privacy
Honestly wasn't sure what photo to go with here, so here's Kyle riding a tiny tricycle for literally no reason. But the point is: Bathrooms are the only place in the house without cameras. However! A producer told Bravo: "[If] there's two people chatting in a bathroom, they invite the camera in too." What these ppl do for us!
3
The Bathroom Is the *Only* Place for Privacy Pt. 2
Paige DeSorbo confirmed this whole bathroom thing on The Skinny Confidential, saying, "If you're in the bathroom with another person, [cameras] can come in, but there's not surveillance in the bathroom. It's very Real World."
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4
There's 24/7 Surveillance and Note-Taking
Bravo is 👀 literally 👀 always 👀 watching...to the point where "producers have someone dedicated to taking notes about what they see on the 24-hour surveillance cameras." Scared!
5
But Producers Respect Hookup Limits
When it comes to hooking up on camera, that aforementioned anon producer says, "Everyone has their limits. We respect them." Kay!
6
Pls Be Advised: Sex in the Pool Is a No-Go
Producers simply won't allow it. Which, on behalf of the owners of the actual Summer House house, as well as pools in general, bless!
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7
There's (Maybe) Some Producer Interference
For the uninitiated, being "produced" means that producers tell you what to do/say. Which, for the most part, doesn't seem to happen much on Summer House. But Luke Gulbranson did try to claim that producers told him to invite Hannah Berner to come with him to Minnesota.
As he put it during the reunion: "I'm clearly going to break [the] fourth wall and I apologize but this is something I have to say. I'm sorry you guys. I was produced and asked to ask you to go to Minnesota. I should have never asked you that. I should have said no."
8
But Andy Cohen Denies It!
According to Cheat Sheet, his reaction to Luke's claim was as follows: "That is not true." And Carl Radke said the same thing, sooooo.
9
There Are No Glam Squads
You better have practiced doing your hair and makeup on camera, because once you walk into Summer House, it's just you + your ability to do a cat-eye.
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10
There's Some Pressure to Sign Contracts
Paige told The Skinny Confidential that she was cast after two other people dropped out, and that producers told her if she wanted the job, she had to sign the contract that literal day.
😳😳😳
11
There's Professional Lighting All Over the Ceiling
Paige said on the same podcast that Bravo takes lighting very seriously. (Wow, same!) Apparently, "there's lights all over the ceiling," not to mention cameras "in the corner." Still scared.
12
There's No One Cleaning Up After Them
The Summer House house, bless its heart, gets trashed by the cast "immediately after they arrive." And apparently, Carl Radke is the only person who bothers to take out the garbage and clean up, lol.
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13
They Come Up With Their Own Party Themes
Shockingly, the cast's not-at-all-unhinged party ideas are from... their own brains. And yes, there's a group chat where they come up with ideas that are "visually appealing."
14
No, They Don't Have to Pay Rent
Seems like Bravo foots the bill for the house! Stephen McGee implied as much on the Reality Life podcast, saying: "Even though the house is big and you see all of our rooms, there's rooms that were used for storage, production, and cameras. We weren't paying extra for those spaces to give them room to produce the show."
15
Buuut the Cast Pays for Their Own Parties
As Danielle Olivera confirmed, "Lindsay's birthday cost her a lot of money. It's like in the thousands. Like an easy $5,000." She also said that Kyle "keeps a solid spreadsheet about how much we pool in for food and for drinks and decorations."
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16
They Have to Drive in Hours of Traffic
As anyone who's attempted to drive from New York City to the Hamptons on a Friday knows all too well, the commute is brutal. And the Summer House cast doesn't get to, like, fly Blade. They're stuck in traffic with the rest of us!
As one producer put it to Bravo: "Sometimes it take three hours, sometimes six or more. We spend half the summer on the Long Island Expressway."
17
They Don't Get Even One Weekend Off
Paige told The Skinny Confidential that Summer House starts filming "the first weekend in July" and goes "every single weekend until Labor Day." Oh, and on top of weekends, they're often filming on two weekdays too. What is a personal life, never heard of it.
18
Filming at Restaurants Is a Whole Thing
Unsurprisingly, filming out and about in public is a huge ordeal. One producer explained that the hardest part about hitting up a restaurant is "not disturbing the other customers" and making sure "everyone isn't just shouting over each other the entire time." Seems impossible, tbh.
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19
They Have to Sign an NDA
A spokesperson from Bravo told Variety about the NDAs used on their shows, saying, in part (amid drama with Bethenny Frankel):
"Confidentiality clauses are standard practice in reality programming to prevent disclosure of storylines prior to air. They are not intended to prevent disclosure by cast and crew of unlawful acts in the workplace, and they have not been enforced in that manner."
Got it!
20
Working Out Is Non-Negotiable
Turns out getting up early to work out when you're hungover is part of Summer House living. Producer Ian Gelfand told So Bad It's Good with Ryan Bailey, "Part of their job is to look good. When they drink too much and get up in the morning, it's their job. They know they have to keep being in shape." Welp!
