Learning the Hard Way is Learning the “Human Way”! (2024)

Growing up, my mother used to say, “Why do you always have to learn things the hard way?” What she meant by that was I simply didn’t take advice, and, instead, “learned by doing”, by trying things out, to see what happened, often with some trials and tribulations along the way! Maybe your mother, or someone else in your family said that to you too!

As adults, those I work with often wonder why people in their organization, or people they are coaching, don’t just ‘take their advice’ and do what is suggested. Wouldn’t that be the ‘easy way’? Why do they continue along the path they’re on, often to find that the result isn’t what they expected? Why do they continue to choose to learn the ‘hard way’?

As human beings, we really only ‘learn’ from our experience. We can study all the theory in the world, but until we try something out, and see what happens, with our own two eyes, we won’t really have learned. So in truth, we can really only learn ‘the hard way’. So knowing that, as coaches and colleagues, while people are learning by doing, we need to be kind. To the people who are learning, while we help them to see gaps between theory and reality so they can make a different choice next time. And to ourselves as we ‘learn the hard — and human — way’ as well!